Why would I want to do that?

mirabilelectu:

Martin Crieff’s life had been many things over the last few decades: miserable certainly, although thankfully that time had passed him by, adventurous, if that word could be applied to MJN’s mishaps the world over, and of late it could even be described as wonderful. But of all the things his life had ever been, dull had definitely never been one of them. Whether he was stressing himself sick over passing that damn CPL exam, or trying to extricate himself from some brewing international incident come about entirely by accident, or even floating on a cloud of stunned happiness because the most beautiful woman in the world had unbelievably agreed to become his wife, his life had always been interesting in some shape or form. But of all the unexpected twists and turns his life had taken, Martin had never expected or dreamed that he would one day be herding two of the most energetic, rambunctious, and absolutely adorable children to ever grace and/or terrorize this earth towards a playground while praying that they would come back with all limbs intact.

This was the first Saturday in far too long that the entire Crieff-Hooper family had been free of commitments and in the same country at the same time, and the twins had jumped all over the chance to finally leave the house and play with both mum and dad at once. They had quite literally jumped in fact, Ellie barreling full speed into Martin’s legs and knocking him backwards onto the sofa at the mere mention of the park, with George following his sister at his usual, slightly more careful pace but still managing to land squarely on Martin’s chest. Being covered in a pile of flailing limbs that vaguely resembled two five year olds was not the most comfortable thing in the world, especially since Ellie was involved and that meant that at least one kick in a vulnerable spot was guaranteed, but Martin would not trade it for the world. He didn’t get to spend nearly enough time with his children thanks to the dramatic upswing in MJN’s business paired with Carolyn’s stubborn refusal to hire another pilot, and so by the time Molly entered the sitting room with all the coats and accessories necessary for an adventure in the park, the situation had devolved into an all-out tickle war complete with the requisite squeals and shrieks. Seeing that her husband was hopelessly outnumbered and losing ground against the twins’ united front of tickling, she waded into the fray to provide much-needed backup and scoop up a thrashing Ellie so Martin could pin down George. Once mum entered the field of battle the tide was swiftly turned, and before long the entire family had collapsed into a happy and breathless pile on the sofa.

The respite could not last long however, and even though mum and dad were both already worn down by the fiercely waged tickle war within minutes the twins were up and proclaiming their readiness to go with their excited shrieks and frantic running in dizzying circles. Martin had no clue where on earth the two of them got their energy, especially Ellie who seemed to have had her blood permanently switched with high-octane jet fuel, but he did know that he would gladly sell several years of his life to possess even a fraction of their enthusiasm. A fraction was probably all he could handle truthfully, a suspicion that was handily reaffirmed as George managed to trip over his own feet and go flying face first onto the floor. Again. Thankfully even though both parents lunged forward to make sure he hadn’t blacked his own eye again or heaven forbid broken something this time, the little boy was more than used to such accidents and with the ease of long practice that came along with such ingrained clumsiness he was up and running in moments with no lasting damage to show for it. At times like these when he saw his own clumsiness replicated in miniature Martin was absolutely horrified by how much of himself he saw in his son, but thankfully George had enough of Molly’s quiet determination and steady patience to balance the flailing awkwardness of his father. And no matter how much trouble his ten-minutes-older big sister might goad him into or how she dominated his more timid personality, Martin knew with glowing happiness that Ellie would never allow George to face the crushing, absolute loneliness that had dominated his own life for so many years. No matter what happened George would never be alone, and that was the greatest gift he could imagine for his little boy.

When they finally made it to the park, Ellie pulling frantically against Martin’s hand in her eager excitement to make it over to the play structures and George trailing behind her, Molly announced with a grin that she was going to get everyone ice creams if they went and played with dad and behaved themselves like good children. This was of course greeted by matching shrieks of joy from the twins and a sinking heart in Martin, who knew that the responsibility of keeping both children alive while they clambered over the playground equipment would fall to him alone for the next several minutes. He had no idea how Molly managed it while he was gone to be perfectly honest, but if anyone deserved at least a short break from the insanity of two five year olds at once it was her, and so with a smile and a kiss on the cheek he took the pile of coats off her hands and sent her on her way towards the ice cream stand. By the time Molly walked away Ellie was already screeching about the teeter-totter as she ran headlong towards the play equipment and George was making his steady but determined way towards the swings, and with a deep breath to gather his courage Martin squared his shoulders to follow them. Molly managed this insanity every day, how hard could it possibly be?

A few minutes later when Molly was patching up all three of the children she was responsible for with the first aid kit she made sure to carry with her at all times, Martin made a very strong mental note to himself to never, ever ask such an absurdly stupid question ever again.

(Story inspired by this gif and the insanity it caused me)